7/100: whoa
i want to remember what big emotions feel like. i am starting to, i think. but i want to be struck suddenly with feels i can’t contain, that must be captured safely as they spill over. to write pages and pages in a letter to a person (though maybe never sent). someone that matters. i want to look at those i love and be overwhelmed by how much i feel, how much i want to tell them— to feel capable of doing so. i miss when my words could adequately communicate my love to people. when i would cry writing it. when the thought of being without someone felt impossible to bear. maybe i have beared it, and that’s why i don’t feel that anymore. or, my fear is that i’ve numbed myself. i don’t feel deeply because bearing a loss like that is too devastating to withstand again.
for background info, check out 100 days of journaling: intro